


swords in the darkness

by youremyqueen



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Comment Fic, Foe Yay, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, POV Male Character, POV Third Person, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-13
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 07:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youremyqueen/pseuds/youremyqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon knows the shame in attacking a sworn brother, knows the lack of honor necessary to so ignore his vows - but Theon has yet to say the words, so Jon can beat him bloody in the training yard and call it an accident.</p><p>Written for the challenge 11 at throneland, prompt was: Theon as a brother in black.</p>
            </blockquote>





	swords in the darkness

Jon knows the shame in attacking a sworn brother, knows the lack of honor necessary to so ignore his vows - but Theon has yet to say the words, so Jon can beat him bloody in the training yard and call it an accident, and even though all the assembled men know that it's a lie, they will pretend to believe him. Past crimes are washed away at The Wall, but a turncloak is a turncloak no matter what color cloak he's wearing.

Theon tries to talk to him once, only once, weeks after the initial yelling match when he'd arrived. He tries to say something about Bran and Rickon, and Jon hits him so hard they're both knocked dizzy by the force of it. Afterwards, Theon just nods, and from then on keeps to himself.

And once, maybe twice, when Jon is feeling cold and wretched and missing his family, his _home_ \- the one that Theon had burnt to the ground - and is deep enough in his cups not to have any honor left, he'll march his way into Theon's tiny rooms and grab him by the throat and tell him in harsh, ale-scented whispers how much he'd like to kill him. And maybe, on those nights, Theon will apologize, will say he regrets what he's done and wishes to make amends, but in the morning, when his head is aching and his throat is parched, Jon will pretend that he doesn't remember.

Eventually, the time comes for Theon to say the words, to make his vows, to become a sworn brother of the Night's Watch. He asks to be allowed to say them before the sea.

They send him with a garrison to Eastwatch and Jon is part of it, insists upon being so. He's not completely certain why, but he tells himself it's because he won't believe it unless he sees it for himself, won't trust Theon's vows unless he hears them spoken, and also doesn't put it past him to try to swim himself to freedom.

When it's done and they're back at Castle Black, when Theon has made his promises to his ridiculous Drowned God and looks to have no intention of unmaking them, Jon does not allow himself his vengeance any longer. In the training yard, he fights Theon as he would any other brother, and when Theon speaks to him, tentatively and in anticipation of great pain, Jon answers him as decently as he can manage, and on a night when Jon has drunk a bit too much, well, he still goes to Theon's room.

He grabs him by the throat, just as before, but instead of threats, instead of violence, he releases all of that hate and anger and gut-wrenching sadness in a different way. He kisses Theon, shoves him onto his back and pins his arms, slipping between his legs, and tells himself that he's still honorable, that there is nothing in his vows that prohibits this. Theon doesn't protest, doesn't even seem to mind terribly, and Jon takes that as his agreement.

It happens more than it should, more than the fights had, and now sometimes he's not even drunk when he climbs into Theon's bed in the dead of night, which means that when Theon whispers, _"I'm sorry,"_ into his shoulder after it's done, when he says he wishes he could take it all back, Jon has no choice but to remember in the morning.


End file.
